Confession, dear readers: I think grueling exercise sucks. Who wants to push themselves until they’re drenched in sweat, feeling cramps in their stomach, out of breath and wanting to collapse? Ugggh. Not me.
But I have to do something about my muffin top. These rolls are totally unacceptable.
So I devised the easiest possible way to work out without feeling like I’m exercising. Ready to hear it? Here goes:
Step 1: Go to gym. (Uggh, that’s the hardest part!)
Step 2: Get onto a treadmill or an elliptical machine that has a built-in, personal television monitor.*
*Note: If your gym doesn’t have built-in, personal TV monitors on all their exercise equipment, it’s time to get a new gym.
Step 3: Make sure you’re at the gym at a time when something good is on TV. (Okay, I guess this is really part of Step 1).
My recommendations? The first couple of “after work” hours (5 pm – 7 pm) is usually lame. You might find a funny Family Guy rerun, but not much happens at that time.
The primetime hours (7 pm – 10 pm) rock. Dancing with the Stars, the Bachelorette, 16 and Pregnant, or for you action-and-drama lovers, Burn Notice. This is the best time to head to the gym — it’s when all the best shows are on.
Don’t even think about going on the weekends, unless you know that a hilarious Adam Sandler movie is playing. Otherwise, you’ll be bored out of your skull watching C-SPAN.
Step 4: Put the treadmill or elliptical machine on a comfortable, steady pace (I like to walk — yes, WALK — on the treadmill), and stay there for the next 2 hours. If you’re walking a 20-minute mile, that means you’ll have walked 6 miles (wahoo!!) at the end of your back-to-back American Idol shows.)
Step 5: Celebrate the fact that you’re walking 6 miles a day — 4 or 5 days a week — without ever feeling exhausted, bored, or really without ever feeling like you’re exercising!
Now, there’s an important hint that’ll make sure you really get this to work: Get rid of your home television. This will force you to go to the gym every time something comes on the air that features a shirtless Denzel Washington or Brad Pitt (or, for you teenyboppers, Justin Bieber, though I don’t understand why.)